Seeing the outcome at the outset is really a first threshold kind of determination: “Should I give the rest of my life to being with this person?” I’m talking about partnership here—yes or no. “Is this relationship going to be able to go where I really need to go?” Yes or no?

This is part of the internal questioning that you can do if you find yourself being very attracted to someone and you have an opportunity to be with that person, this is part of you exercising discernment. There’s no getting involved and, “We’ll see how it goes.” That’s pretty blind. You have the ability to determine, like “Is this a green light or is this a red light?” regardless of the attraction, regardless of the feelings in the moment.

Once you have a real engagement and that’s a go ahead for you, then you’ve passed that first threshold. Then the outcome is… you can’t see the outcome. So if we can qualify in that way, so it’s more like, initially, “Should I even get involved with this person?” It’s a yes or no. And there’s no maybe, there’s no kind of, sort of, gee, not if you value your time and your life, let’s put it that way, not if you have something better to do with yourself.

On August 17, 2019, Marshall Vian Summers gave a teaching in Boulder CO, USA, on our most important life relationships and partnerships – beyond ideas, possessions, objects and philosophies.